#I MISS THAT CLASS SO BAD I LOVED WORKSHOPPING OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES

[cartoon-skeleton]

Everyone was so pleasant and nice to me at work today I love u everyone

[scleroticstatue]

Feminine Plots

Okay, I've been thinking A Lot about basic plot types and how classically feminine stories fit into neither the traditional (masculine) archetypes nor the traditional plots. After a lot of studying the major plot beats, I think all female-led stories* fall into one of seven plots. I'm using Disney movies to demonstrate this because just about everyone has seen them, but I think you could apply these to just about any feminine-based story.*

So, without further ado:

The Hard Work Plot: The heroine of this story is a hard worker and is tested by the plot to prove her kindness and generosity. If she passes the test, she wins and is rewarded for it. This is the basic plot of Snow White, Cinderella, and Tiana/Princess and the Frog.**

The Beast Taming Plot: The heroine of this story is put in a situation where she meets a monster, learns to understand it (usually through a heightened state of empathy), and then tames it to become socially acceptable for the norms of society, often ending the story by using the tamed monster to defeat a more villainous character who has been accepted by society. This is the plot of Belle/Beauty and the Beast, Moana, Jane/Tarzan, and Lilo/Lilo & Stitch.

The Transformstion Plot: The heroine meets an outsider who is threatening her home/family/people, who are stagnating or stifling. She spends time getting to know the person and their culture, and then uses her friendship to transform her own culture into one of flourishing modernity. This is the plot of Ariel/The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, and Jasmine/Aladdin.

The Restoration Plot: The heroine is in a kingdom/household of dwindling power. Her quest is to restore the damaged relationships and undo the evil that caused the kingdom to dwindle. There's a very high chance that the heroine doesn't actually do the restoration herself, rather she makes other characters realize they have responsibilities and duties they haven't fulfilled, who then fix the problem instead of the actual female lead. This is Aurora/Sleeping Beauty, Elsa/Frozen, Mirabel/Encanto, and Nala/The Lion King.

The Balancing Plot: The heroine is proven to be unfit for feminine life and goes on a journey to prove she is capable of fitting in with the guys, only to realize that what she needs to restore peace and joy to her home/kingdom is the very feminity that she rejected. This is Mulan and Merida/Brave.

The Maturing Plot: The heroine is a naive individual who is exposed to the big bad world. Her idealism transforms the big bad world to be softer, but she also realizes there are bad things out there and that are/will take advantage of her if she lets it. In the end, she usually has to fight the bad guy/embrace her duties and responsibilities to save her home. This is Alice/in Wonderland, Wendy/Peter Pan, Giselle/Enchanted, and Rapunzel/Tangled.

The Sacrifice Plot: The heroine has a group that she is some sort of caretaker for (a princess, a lover, a support class). She does something, usually accidentally, that causes her friends to end up in danger, and she has to sacrifice herself to make up for those wrongs and save her people, usually ending up coming back to life because the other leads are so inspired and love her so much they make sure to save her. This is Tinkerbell/Peter Pan, Meg/Hercules, Esmeralda/Hunchback of Notre Dame, Kida/Atlantis, Anna/Frozen.***

EDIT: After workshopping this, I've decided I was missing one which seems almost exclusive to mothers and wives:

The Witnessing: The heroine must prepare another to become a Sacrifice/go to war/fight without her interference, and she has to let go and let them take on the trials of the world. Her plot arc succeeds when the people she's equipped successfully encounter the world without her guidance. This is Mrs. Potts/Beauty, Grandma Tala and Sina (the mom)/Moana, and Grandma Fa/Mulan. It's rare, so there's not a lot of these are protagonists, but it is a legitimate feminine archetype.

Star explanations under the cut.

*I'm being very specific here and talking about stories that are associated with the feminine, not stories that are traditionally associated with males who have then taken on female leads. And, while you can look at these as entire plots, these are also applicable as character arcs. The Lion King, told from Simba's perspective is the classic Call to Adventure. However, from Nala's perspective, she is the Restorer who, after watching her kingdom fall to ruin, has to go find the proper authority, mend his relationship with his father, and then return him to the kingdom to fulfill his responsibilities. While some more modern stories have female leads that don't fit these categories, I would argue they're not trying to appeal to women, but to a general audience and just happen to have a female protagonist, who could easily be swapped out for a male protagonist without changing anything of the story (and that, imo, makes for a very bad story indeed).

**There is a secondary dimension in these stories, which is the staticness or dynamicness of the characters. The classical Hero's Journey features a dynamic protagonist, who is expected to change throughout the run of a story. However, in most female-led media, the lead character is already virtuous and good. She is a static character that is then tested to see if she will fold under pressure. Snow White and Princess and the Frog both feature Hard Work narratives; however, Snow White is a static character who has to prove through a series of trials that she's good hearted and the world won't turn her cynical, while Tiana is a dynamic character who has to grow from cynicism to accept love as a virtue. While it is more traditional of older stories like Grimms' Fairy Tales, the Arthurian mythos, or Classic-era novels, static protagonists have almost entirely died out in favor of the Hero's Journey dynamicness. However, it remains a staple in Feminine Stories, even in modern stories: Moana, Anna/Tangled, Lilo/Lilo & Stitch.

***The Sacrifice Plot is a little odd, because there's usually another plot on top of it; Anna has a (slight) Maturing Plot, Meg has a Balancing Plot, Kida has a Restoration Plot. However, in the end, it's not a philosophical shift that defines their character, but their willingness to sacrifice for those they love. Yes, Anna was duped by Hans and has to accept he's not the good guy. However, she still falls in love with a man she just met (just a different one) and her narrative is instead trying to fix the problem she made when she upset her sister and her climax is when she essentially dies for Elsa, who then saves her with their sisterly love.

[victusinveritas]

Writing advice from Nick Mamatas.

Some science fiction/fantasy creative writing students I have encountered, a field guide

1. World-Savers: these are generally older students, have no real interest in SF/F, are writing a book to express political or metaphysical ideas they consider to be radical and necessary for the future of life on Earth. In reality, they're writing long Platonic dialogues about their ideas, and authority from various culture and pop culture tropes (aliens, noble savages, fairies, resurrected presidents)–to the extent that their work has a plot at all, it involves a Christ figure transforming the world via a sacrifice. The ideas aren't very radical either: "pollute less" and "love your neighbor, unless they're a dick" are common. Occasionally the message for the world has to do with something more prosaic: reverse budgeting, the evils of Affirmative Action, the importance of installing solar panels, how dare Eileen divorce me and fuck like three guys in the six months after she moved out, etc. These students are utterly confused by actually existing SF/F stories they read, and often interpret them in bizarrely sexual ways. They don't believe in numbering the pages of their manuscripts, and often attempt to submit work in PDF so it won't be stolen.

2. Children with Money: recent college grads, or drop-outs, these people have read Harry Potter, Twilight, and perhaps three or four other best-selling young adult series and nothing else. They are easily upset, especially when someone suggests reading more. Their main interests are YouTube personalities, video games, and a sort of Puritanical pansexuality that actually makes smut boring. They often "forget" to read the work of other students, and have no idea how to use a printer. They warn the other students that their story might be "too intense" because it contains, for example, a depiction of a car accident. Their stories are routinely awful, and always contain a character named "Aidan." Sometimes their parents come to class to make sure I am "not a serial killer", as though they could possibly tell from looking at me. (Oh, "Mamatas" IS a white person name...I guess?)

3. Anointed Ones: They contact me, or the people running the workshop, beforehand, to make sure that "the class is right" for them. They have file cabinets full of their stuff, and after many decades of toil, they are ready to reveal their work to the world. They just need a mentor, and an ally—could I be the one they've been searching for lo these many years? Prior workshops were full of callow teachers and jealous students. Why they were only allowed to submit ten pages a week! Some of them have actually read fairly widely, but you wouldn't know it from their work: three adjectives per noun, a fetish for speech tags other than the word "said" or no tags at all. Often these stories include as characters philosophical prostitutes with very sensitive nipples. They never miss a class and often show up more than thirty minutes early. One time, I had to hide in a closet to avoid an extensive pre-class conversation with one.

4. Frightened Proles: These have read Stephen King and Dean Koontz and sometimes even horror writers from this century. They generally have working-class jobs and write about working people who encounter the supernatural on the late shift. They really hope they can sell their novel soon, but they know it'll take a lot of work. (Ten more drafts oughta do it!) They wear baseball hats to class and look like enormous eight-year-olds. They get very excited when I mention professional wrestling or do a taiji move in class. Their significant others are often nameless—"my girlfriend" "my wife." They buy my books and bring them to class for autographs. Some of them get published after, especially flash fiction.

5. Repairables: decent writers, often involved in the SFF "scene", who need to be fixed after a bad experience with Clarion or another workshop or an overeager editor at a semipro magazine who told them some idiot nonsense they decided to believe because they were told it was "unprofessional" not to consider editorial feedback. These either get published...or lost to MFA programs, video game jobs, fandom, podcasts, or other writing-shaped pursuits. Most of them are ferocious name-droppers; the ones who heard of me beforehand know to keep quiet though.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Struggling with Feedback That's Missing the Point

triplecreature asked: I'm in a creative writing course in university and we're doing workshops where we review each other's poems and short stories. I'm conflicted because I don't want to be closed-minded about constructive criticism, but sometimes I feel like the feedback I get is missing the point. For example, the instructor indiscriminately marks up any "abstract" line, even if it's emotional sentiment or would break the structure/line scheme to remove. She's also biased against heavier topics because they're too depressing and said I can't make poetry about characters/conversational perspective. My short story got negative feedback from my peers because my protagonist wasn't inherently good or bad. They felt it his grey morality "didn't make sense." I don't want to be arrogant so I feel bad for struggling with the criticism I get. How do you gracefully approach a situation where you feel uncertain or misunderstood by feedback you get?

Here's the thing...

Reading and writing is a very, very personal thing. We all develop very strong opinions about what we do and do not like, and sometimes people confuse their own preferences as being universal truths. Abstract poetry doesn't seem to resonate with your instructor, and unfortunately she's choosing to interpret that as a problem with abstract poetry rather than a personal preference.

Having said that, it's really important that we not take negative feedback too much to heart. It's always worth analyzing where the feedback is coming from and whether it's more likely to be feedback based on a personal preference or actually credible feedback.

When you get critical feedback from a single person or a few people that feels off to you, you can generally disregard it, especially if it conflicts with the majority feedback. For example, if three people says your morally gray protagonist makes no sense, but ten people don't have that issue, you can probably assume your protagonist is fine. If you give your story to six classmates, and all six of them feel the morally gray protagonist doesn't make sense, it's worth considering why all six out of six people feel that way. Are they saying it doesn't make sense because they expect a character to be either good or bad, or are they saying it doesn't make sense because something you laid out in the story is conflicting with the idea that this character is morally gray?

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether or not to listen to feedback, but especially in a creative writing class, I wouldn't take the negative feedback too much to heart. If it's one person's opinion, smile, nod, and thank them for their opinion. If it's five people with the same opinion, take some time to consider whether there could be some merit to what they're saying. In any case, don't take it personally. ♥

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[moomkin77]

Fic Author Q&A

@ussjellyfish Thanks for tagging me!

1. Why do you write fanfic?

So, I publish under the same name as my tumblr profile (Moomkin_77!) and I honestly haven’t done that many fics. I’ve had ideas in the past for sure, but I’m a prose writer first and foremost and work on my own content, so funnily enough fanfics feel a little daunting to me. I think it’s because when I want to write a good fic, I want the characters to feel in-character (unless the goal is the opposite of course), which can be harder compared to creating my own characters who I already know the inner workings of. But mainly I started writing fanfiction because I love Moomin Valley, and I wanted to translate more of that wholesome happiness it brings me into something I’ve created and can then share with other people.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is "finished"?

I’m bad at finishing things lol, but the Moomin Valley fic I’ve started is one I think about frequently. Chapter 2 is nearly done and I’m excited to share it!

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Just have fun with it. Take your time. I started writing my fic because I wanted something that made me happy with no pressure attached, so don’t pressure yourself. If you fall in writer’s block, you’ll find the inspiration you need in time. Just keep that love that got you to start the fic in the back of your mind and you’ll be alright. People that really love you and your writing will find the patience they need too.

4. What's your relationship to fic stats?

Uhhh, I honestly don’t pay attention to them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

Moomintroll/Snufkin are my beloveds, and if I ever find the inspiration and courage, I’d love to write Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson as well.

6. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

Like I said before, Moominvalley makes me happy. It’s sweet and fun and full of so much kindness, whether it’s the comics, the cartoons, the video game, or the newer show from 2019. There’s a sort of whimsy to it that nothing else I’ve encountered captures and it brings me unspeakable joy. It’s that feeling in my chest that I want to keep, so how better to do that then write about it?

7. If you're stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

Go watch the content material again, or read other fanfics in that fandom. One of my favorite Moominvalley fics is The Quest for Snufkin’s Memories by DigitalThespian and the writing is just so beautiful and the story so perfect for the fandom that it brings me joy every time I go back and read it.

And sometimes you just gotta take a break if you’re stuck. Don’t stress yourself out over it, give yourself a chance to breathe and think about what you wanna do.

8. What do you wish people knew about comments?

So, for me comments are the absolute. Even just a heart emoji. As an author, peer workshop classes were where you got to hear all the feedback from your classmates, and I always had a great time hearing what my friends thought of my writing as I worked to improve it. Comments that I leave on fics are where I pour my heart out when I read something that I really loved, so seeing people return that always makes me happy.

9. Maybe there's a question you wish had been on here. What's that questions (and answer)?

Question: As an author who doesn’t veer much into writing fanfiction (I’d rather just read it lol) what do you enjoy most about fanfiction as a media separate from regular prose?

Answer. I think what I enjoy the most is that it takes books, shows, movies, etc. we already know and love, and explores more about them. It creates more stories to love out of stories we already love, branching off in ways that the original author might never have considered. It’s just so fun and creative, and when I finally manage to publish my own novels, I think what I’m probably most excited for is to see what sort of fanfiction people will (hopefully) write about my own works 🩵

Thanks for this! It was fun 🥰

@steddieasshegoes @thetriggeredhappy @justakittenatheart

[cosette141]

How to Write and Create for Yourself When You Make Writing Your Career

I made a post about why it’s important to write and create for yourself first, rather than do it for external validation or pleasing other people. And on that post, I received this wonderful question from @hotherus-the-blind :

This is a question I just asked myself not too long ago, so you are definitely not the only one wondering.

It isn’t easy. I’ll start with that. It's one thing to write fanfiction or hobby-work (and even that has the pressure of wanting people to like your work). But the pressure of a writing career only makes writing for yourself first harder, and seemingly impossible.

But the short answer to your question is simply this:

All successful professional writers do write for themselves first, because you can’t be successful if you don’t write and create for yourself first.

(And we are glad it works this way!)

Believe me—I have a decade of failure and rejection from trying to write for others first to prove it.

Why You Still Have to Write for Yourself First, Even for a Writing Career

10 years ago I decided that I wanted to write TV shows and publish novels for a living. An ambition I still have.

Prior to that decision, I used to write only for myself. I wrote stories since I was a little kid, and only cared about what I found interesting. And when I write fanfiction, I feel much more comfortable writing for myself first.

But for the past 10 years, I took writing classes and screenwriting workshops and spent that decade trying to learn how to write stuff people would want to watch and read, stuff that would get me hired (which, potato, po-tah-to, right?). What other people would be interested in reading was my only focus. I just wanted to be successful at this; I no longer even remembered that I chose this career because I love to write.

But despite the fact that not writing for yourself first is unenjoyable and ruins something you love to do...

It also is inevitably unsuccessful.

These past 10 years, I came up with concepts that I believed were interesting, based off of what I learned in classes, thinking things like “they did this in Breaking Bad and people love that so I should try it!” or “these two ideas are such opposites; it would be so interesting if I put them together!”

But the problem was that I wasn’t interested.

And that was the important piece of the puzzle I had been missing.

I was writing things I thought were cool or unique or trending. As I was writing, my only thought was of the person who would be reading it; what they would think. But even as I came up with those ideas… they never made it past the idea.

Because I was so uninterested, I didn’t even want to write them. But even when I forced myself to write them, they were cold and boring and uninteresting. And when I shared them with my teachers and friends, they said the same thing; it was impersonal, boring, unemotional. There was no heart and soul. One of my teachers asked me why I was writing that story, and I answered, "Because I think it can be good."

And then he kindly told me: “The stories you write should be ones you feel the need to tell, that you have this desire to write. Stories where you are the only person in the world who can tell that story, because of the way you tell it and the emotion it comes from. That is the connection we’ll feel when we read it.”

My teachers' philosophy, as successful professional writers in the business, is that writing strong compelling stories that other people will be interested in is only as strong as your own interest in what you are writing. (A concept I kept straying from, since I was so terrified and focused on other peoples’ impressions of my work.)

One of my writing teachers is Corey Mandell, who teaches this workshop called Creative Integration. In this workshop, they teach that the trifecta of writing is a harmony of these three things:

1. What other people are interested in

2. What the characters naturally would do in the given situation

3. What you, the writer, care about and find interesting

(here's a video of him talking about this stuff)

When you have all three components fulfilled, you are writing your BEST work, and your most SUCCESSFUL work.

If you are missing any of the three, your story will be lacking.

That includes, especially, your own interest in what you're writing.

And I would even argue that if you had to only pick one, the most important one is the 3rd---what you're interested in. Something filled with your emotion. Because I can think of so many stories that I felt the passion in, even if the plot wasn't all that great. I forgive and still read a story with a bad plot if the emotion is great. I don't often forgive an emotionless story just to see a cool plot.

Additionally, my teacher always tell us this in classes, and I remind myself of every single day now:

“Writing is an energy-transference business. What you felt when you wrote that story is what the reader will feel when they read it. If you felt nothing, they’ll feel nothing.”

Your interest in the story is directly related to your success. You need to feel something if you want other people to feel something.

And this, my friend, is exactly why you need to write for yourself first in order to be successful in a writing career.

Here's some proof of uber successful writers who wrote for themselves first:

If you go to any author or screenwriter or artist who wrote or made something you love, and you ask them, “What compelled you to write this?” You won’t get an answer of: “I thought it’d be cool and people would like it.” Or, “I thought it would sell and be successful.”

99% of the time, it was inspired by something personal to them; it was a story they had to tell.

Take the TV show Psych for example. Psych is a show about a guy who grew up with a detective father who groomed him to be a detective for his entire childhood. But his father sucked as a dad. Due to that bad relationship, instead of becoming a detective like he was trained to be, Shawn pretends to be a psychic to solve crimes rather than do what his father wanted him to do (become a proper detective). The show is a comedy of antics and hilarity, but the underlying story is that of a healing relationship between father and son.

Check out the actual inspiration behind Psych:

(x)

Is this show a biography? Not at all. Putting your soul into your work doesn’t mean it has to be your literal life. But Steve Franks put his pain into that show, his heart and his soul. It was a story no one else in the world could tell, because the main character of that show was a reflection of him. He didn’t just set out to write a detective show with a funny main character; he wrote a show about a broken relationship between father and son, and told it through a show about crime solving. That’s what makes it a show only he could write.

That’s why we watch Psych. Not for the crimes. For the emotion that Steve Franks poured into it.

How about the inspiration behind Breaking Bad?

Percy Jackson?

Game of Thrones? (A Song of Ice and Fire) (by author George R. R. Martin, quote from him below):

(x)

That last sentence is really amazing: "I realized I really want to tell that story."

That is what we should strive to say about all of our own stories.

Try this with any book or tv show or movie you love. You'll find a personal inspiration behind it to prove that those writers were successful writing a story that they felt personally compelled to write.

Here's my favorite quote on the subject that I keep over my desk:

How to Write for Yourself First

Writing for yourself first means that if you write something, and no one in the entire world could ever see, watch or read it, ever, you still feel that it was worth writing. It made you feel good to write. It was something you wanted and needed to write.

There's a quote from an episode of the TV show Leverage where a character tells another character (Eliot Spencer), "You fight like something is trying to get out of you." I think about that quote in terms of my own writing: let's write like something is trying to get out of us.

I spent the past 10 years telling myself, “I just want to write a story that works.” I never used to write that way before. I used to go, “Oooooh, what a cool idea! I want to see what will happen!” And just sit down and write. Or, I’d be angry or upset or afraid and I’d write out of that emotion, and something unique and wonderful would come out and I would be able to cope and pour all the emotions into it. I learned that I write and create to feel better. And realizing that changed everything for me. Because for me, if it doesn’t make me feel better, it isn’t writing.

Why did you used to write, before you decided on this career?

Why did you decide on this career?

What compels you to write? What would make you happy to write? What would make you smile? Laugh? Cry? Cope? Feel better? Deal with your anger? Live vicariously through a character in a fantasy world you’d rather live in? What do you want to write?

Sit down, open a new document or blank page, and ask yourself: if you were to show no one what you write right now, what would you write for yourself? For your own eyes? You aren’t allowed to share this with anyone else, so what would you like to write? It doesn’t have to be incredible, it doesn’t have to impress anyone. It can be silly or stupid or embarrassing or offensive or heartbreaking—anything. It’s just for you to enjoy the process of writing it. Are you upset about something? Are you angry? Think about a crush you have; write a scene of a fantasy date they take you on. Write about a character with superpowers you’d like to have, or someone going on an adventure you’d like to go on—anything your heart desires.

What would make you, and only you, happy to write about?

What would make you feel anything to write about?

If you want to be a writer professionally, I assume it’s because you enjoy writing enough to want it to be a career. Which means that at some point in your life, you were writing before you were thinking about money or other peoples’ feedback.

Try to think back to when you were writing as a kid. Why did you write? What compelled you to write? What did you want to feel or accomplish when you wrote? (I also used this uquiz to help rediscover why I write).

I may not be able to guarantee that people will love what you write (though if you’re interested, it’s highly likely other people will be too!)

But I can guarantee that if you are not interested, if your heart is not in it, then no one else will be interested in it, either.

I spent 10 full years trying to write in a way that would interest other people, putting my interest aside completely. And I have nothing but rejections to show for it.

Am I professional writer with oodles of success right now?

No.

But I can tell you one thing: after 10 years of writing for other people first and making myself miserable, I've learned that writing for others first doesn't work. I tried damn hard to make it work, and still failed. But the most important part?

I don’t even want to be successful that way.

I had to start fresh and start writing from a place of emotion, pain, love, need again. And finally there are stories emerging that I actually care about again. Because I realized that I would never be successful unless I do this. But more importantly…

I will never be happy as a writer (or a person) unless I do this.

Personally, I would much rather write something where my emotions bled onto the page and get it rejected than write a boring draft for others that makes a million dollars.

The bottom line is you can’t capture someone else’s heart with your story until your own heart is somewhere inside it, leading the way.

Yes, it is important to interest other people with your stories if you aim to be a successful professional writer.

But only after you write for yourself, first.

[cody-apexart]

Day 12

This is honestly more or less a shitting on apex post. I apologies, but srsly. My time in Saigon has been so enjoyable, I really love this city and most of the experiences I have had, but the organization and communication style implemented by apex is making this less fun! Im in a bad mood, and had a bad day. Here’s the play by play:

I feel like the zoom mediation class today really set my day up for failure. Ive been practicing mediation on and off for over half my life— at this point Im pretty particular about what I like, and have tried out a lot of different styles to figure out what I enjoy and what works for me. This zoom meditation class lead by some man in southern California really was more of an hour long lecture of this dude talking about how he used to be depressed but now he isnt, and maybe 15 min of mediation max. I was all about work, like work like jobs, like capitalist meditation. When he said the phrase “hiring managers read your energy body” I knew I had heard enough. Which was kinda for the best, because I started looking at my email and noticed two had just come in from apex! One contained information that said the pottery class on my sched started at 9am not 10am. I had been preped to get there at 10, and at the time I was reading that email, it was already after 9am. I called the studio and they said I could still attend, though I did miss an hour of workshop time. Also, once I got there they said the ceramics wont be ready for 2 weeks. In 2 weeks I wont be here anymore. Why wouldn’t yall schedule this class earlier in my schedule? Also it was noted in my sched that the class would cost 40000 VND, but it was really 400000 VND. I also got an email from apex that I was RSVPd for a tech company business mixer. I hadn’t noticed it on my schedule because it was set for the wrong time, the event was probably entered in EST, so it was coming up on friday instead of thursday and was kinda hidden by the other long event on my friday sched. This email was my first time hearing about it, and since I was already reeling from the meditation class and time change to pottery I was like wtfffff.

Like what type of weird ass shit is that? Send someone with no tech experience to an even that is intended for people working in tech and living in Vietnam? Its just like why send me to crash their party? I don’t really understand, there are so many other places I could talk to strangers without being so out of place, like out of place in a way that kinda feels disrespectful and disruptive to the event. I dont mind being out of place or having to talk to stagers, but it just feels rude to show up to an event I rly have no business being at. Since the story slam, anything that comes off eventbrite I am very skeptical of.

Idk why nearly everything on the schedule feels like its made out to be a riddle. The times are wrong, the addresses are wrong. I can never just do what the calendar says and expect it to work out seamlessly. I feel like I spend so much troubleshooting shit that should already be taken care of.

Also I still havnt been reimbursed for this plane ticket?! Even though I sent the necessary info twice, and it says in a number of places that I can request reimbursement whenever id like. Similarly, the agreement I signed notes 45 days will be given in advance to get a visa if necessary, I was given 6 six businesses days notice. Like all of this is just causes what feels like /unnecessary/ stress, unless that feeling is all part of the program too? Im trying to just learn a lesson in loosing control.

Anyway, I went a little rouge today and didnt go to capoeira. I was emotionally exhausted, and my ankle is a little weird and clicky from walking so much. This is the first activity ive skipped-- I probably wouldnt have skipped it if I didnt already do the class last week, but knowing how intense it was, and how bad I felt, it was the right decision for me today. I cant wait for this upcoming day off. Two weeks non-stop is starting to get to me.

I went to a later screening of the movie since my evening was free, and wow, another movie centered around a traumatic pregnancy experience. The main character miscarried during a robbery at 6 months. I watched the trailer this time to avoid this type of thing, but it didnt reveal that plot point. actually the whole movie was actually about really toxic abusive relationships, but the trailer made it seem like a comedy. Anyway this was less fucked up than the abortion horror movie, but still fucked up. okay, but also the main character did ceramics, and i did a ceramics class this morning...was that planned? how curated are these days? I think this trip is the only time I have ever been in a movie theater without a friend or companion. Watching movies alone is totally new for me, just like how ive literally never used a pottery wheel before today. Also mark making scares me so painting the ceramic bowl I made was notably difficult for me. I am incredibly grateful for these experiences despite everything i just vented about.

[jezunya]

I think, sometimes, there's a disconnect here with people taking this phraseology much too literally (much like the "kill your darlings" advice being interpreted to mean killing off characters you like, which is not at all what it means). "Write what you know" does not mean "write about a character who is you, in the exact same circumstances that you have lived through."

I saw this a lot when I was doing my bachelor's degree in creative writing: scores and scores of other students who came from small, Midwestern American towns, and so they wrote stories about being in a small, Midwestern American Town, with some kind of interpersonal ennui as the main emotional force. And they were flabbergasted when I would come to class with sci-fi and fantasy writing to share with the workshop.

There are a couple of really good reasons for this, of course. One, journaling about your own life and then just tweaking it slightly to make it fiction (eg, 'write an alternate ending to an argument you once had') is an introductory exercise to get young writers' imaginations started. And two, I cannot tell you how many writing instructors still see "literary fiction" (real world setting, interpersonal drama or ennui, nothing fantastical) as the only real fiction worth reading or writing, and everything from Tolkien to le Guinn to Gaiman as (sneering, snobby voice) ~genre fiction~

The thing is, while my classmates (and sometimes my instructors) were thrown by my sci-fi and fantasy presentations, I also got complimented on my deep characters and full emotions in my writing for class. And when asked about it — or, often, when asked how I could just spitball a dozen different directions for a classmate to take things when workshopping their story — I have always, always, always pointed to my upbringing reading character-driven sci-fi and fantasy, thanks to my parents, and to my 20+ years of reading & writing fanfiction.

Now, there's obviously plenty of bad sci-fi/fantasy in the world, and plenty of bad fanfic too. But the exercises of, on one hand, letting your imagination run absolutely wild, and, on the other, digging your teeth as deep as they can go into characters' psyches and emotions and relationships… Those have both shaped me as a writer more than anything, and I think a lot of people who come up being trained on journaling and "literary" fiction miss that. I know with my former classmates, it seemed like a lot of them couldn't move past the 'rewrite the ending to an argument you once had' level of imagination. If it wasn't very literally based in their life, they couldn't conceive of it.

But, respectfully, I think Mr. Gaiman is saying, even if it doesn't look like your life, it will still be your emotions, and your thoughts, and your humor. There's no "creat[ing] something new entirely," because everything you create is going to be colored through you and your ideas. My personal example is this:

In 2009, I enlisted in the US Army (hey kids: don't do that!) Also in 2009, I wrote a fanfic set in a fantasy world where the main character was a princess who volunteered to be the sacrificial tribute to the neighboring werewolf kingdom in order to keep the peace between the two lands. I was processing my emotions around entering the military, sure enough in my decision to not back out but also with no idea of what to expect, by writing a fantasy story about a princess who didn't know if she was going to be eaten alive or enslaved or maybe find friendship and love in the end. I'm not a princess and I don't know any werewolves, but that fanfic was 100% me, right down to various characters arguing the different sides of my own misgivings vs determination.

So I think that's what is at the heart of this ask, a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means for an author to put themself in their work. You're not supposed to just keep journaling about your hometown ad nauseum (unless that's genuinely what you want to do!), but you are always going to be in your writing, because if you're not, it may as well have been written by someone else (or by soulless AI).

As an author, do you think authors should always put a piece of themselves into what they write? Like their experiences, personality traits or sense of humor? Or do you think it would make more sense to try and create something new entirely, without anything taken from your own personal experiences?

You are literally making what you write out of your experiences and your personality and your imagination. I don't know how you could do it the other way. Everything is always going to be you.

[foxymoxynoona]

I just read that ask about reading comprehension anon and yes I agree with you. Though common mistakes that I so often see in people nowadays are homophones, ex. "your" and "you're". It's like the most basic, how the heck do you not know the difference. I learned that in elementary school and English isn't my native nor first language (though it is my second language). I suck at writing and speaking and spelling B, but at least I double-check to a dictionary whenever I write in English to make sure I didn't misspell it.

Also I just want to say that, one of my favorite about your fics is your writing. I know it's not easy and I admire that about you as a "fanfic" writer to put that much effort. I find it pretty obvious when a writer just explicitly tells you everything compare to the ones who wants you to immerse yourself into the story to figure things out. I've read fics that kind of just dump words to it make look long, like... 5k+ words, but doesn't progress the story. Though I think they call it a filler, but I don't think a filler can be 5 chapters long (that should only be 1 chp, right?). I really wish I can tell some writers in this fandom to maybe read fics like yours as a research in writing, but I guess that's rude and offensive. To the very least I'd like to correct their typos, but not many accept that either. I hope one day I can write like you. I've once tried writing my own fanfic, but turns out it just looks nice in my head. Now I only read fics and draw my own story in my head from theirs. Like, I always fantasize my own story of your fic, especially lowlander and meadow. I apologize for the long ask.

TL;DR: your writing is amazing and I'd like you to know that. I'll always love your fics and will always come back to read them. Thank you for writing and sharing such good fics

I do put so much effort haha, possibly too much effort?? But to me fanfic writing isn't any different than any other writing I'd do, I'm still telling a story and engaging with characters and pushing to improve my skills!

I went to college for writing and found it icnredibly frustrating how bad basic grammar and spelling were for my peers. In workshops we'd spend all the time correcting mistakes like that instead of talking about the contents. I pushed my college to require a freshman seminar or first-year class on English but they never did, which felt like such a miss to me.

Filler chapters are interesting, I've learned how to "use" them. Sometimes you do need time to just pass in the story to get from point A to B, but if they aren't serving plot, they should be serving something else --I tend to use them for character or relationship building, or to give readers a break from a certain tone or theme, sometimes it's world building. I also tell myself to just get to the point, if I'm bored and feel like this bit is a waste of time, how can I expect readers to take the time? I think both of these approaches have improved my writing. I also don't need to add length haha I need to do the opposite, my stories are soooo long!

"I really wish I can tell some writers in this fandom to maybe read fics like yours as a research in writing, but I guess that's rude and offensive." This gave me a good laugh haha. I don't imagine any one would appreciate being told that but I am flattered, especially since I do approach my fanfics with as much effort as I would any other writing 😊

As for writing, I hope you continue to do it if it brings you joy. You don't need to worry about the output! In the first place, writing is a skill ilke any other and the more you do it, the better you get. But second of all, it's a closely guarded secret, but I think most of us never feel like what's on paper is as good as what was in our heads 😂 I certainly never have been fully satisfied but I decided to share anyway and I'm very glad I did!

Thank you for the long ask, it was a pleasure to read 🥰

[hoedorokishoto]

Trust - Part 3

Shoto Todoroki x Reader 

+ Minors DNI 

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"So what, they were just arguing outside the dorm?" Toshi asked, stretched out on the couch in my workshop, manspreading as he rubbed the back of his neck. One of his long legs not quite fitting on the small red couch, hanging over edge.

"Yeah...I mean, I don't think it was too serious but there was definitely yelling." I stated, flicking my protective goggles down over my eyes and welding new panels on some of Bakugo's equipment, keeping the lines clean and crisp. Not wanting to feel or hear the wrath of Katsuki Bakugo if something was out of place.

"And you were in the bushes?" He asked, quirking his eyebrow, laughing at me as he laid down further on the couch.

"Not in a creepy way! In a what the fuck, dodge and evade kinda way." I said, my voice becoming higher as I defended myself. I had to admit, the situation last night would have sounded suspicious if I had told anyone else. A half-black 18-year-old, hiding in the bushes listening to a conversation between two rich popular people in the middle of the night. Yeah very sus indeed. But I knew that my story was safe with Hitoshi, hoping that he might even have some insider 3A knowledge.

"Well, nothing too exciting happened after they left. Yaomomo walked in head held high, made some tea and went to bed." He said, yawning and placing his arm over his eyes. He didn't mention Todoroki. Did he not go back inside? Where did he find himself last night? I didn't dwell any longer in the bushes to find out, almost regretting that decision now.

"So no gossip? I'm disappointed." I said shrugging, faking disappointment. He laughed behind me, his arm still shielding his eyes as he shifted and got comfortable, preparing to nap as I worked into the late afternoon no doubt. Mr Aizawa having to cancel their private training for 'Pro Hero Reasons'.

I never cared much for the drama of UA students, hero course or otherwise, but recently a two-toned boy had piqued my interest. The situation last night not helping me want to mind my own business. Usually everyone was too busy or too tired for drama, a fact that I had come to love since being at UA. Gone were the days of schoolyard bullying and the gossip about who was hooking up with who.

"What's going on in that brilliant brain of yours?" Hitoshi asked, his arm still over his eyes, not once had he even looked up.

"I can feel the neurons firing in your brain from here." He said before I could answer. It was times likes these that I hated he knew me so well.

What was going on in my brain? It felt like for the first time in 18 years I didn't know exactly what I wanted or how I would go about getting it. Shoto Todoroki's name had really thrown a spanner in the works from the moment it was listed next to mine.

"He is quite interesting... that's all I'll say about it." I said in Hitoshi's direction, looking back down, welding the remaining panels together.

"What? You have a thing for Todoroki now? Well get in line behind the rest of the school." He said laughing.

"I don't have a thing! I just find him interesting. Is that a crime?"

I put my equipment away and stood back admiring the finished product, hand on my hip and once again covered in grease. The thick black layer of grime almost a permanent feature of my skin since 1st year. Most of my clothes stained and musty. Smelling like the workshop and a truck had a baby.

"Speaking of interesting... Shishida said he knew you were there last night. I saw him talking to Kaibara about it this morning before class, looking all flustered." Toshi said, finally getting up and coming to stand beside me with one hand in his pocket and the other atop my head.

"I forget that his quirk lets him hear and smell everything. It's a little unsettling." I stated, a shiver going up my spine. I did forget about Shishida and his beast quirk, how he probably heard the whole thing and everything that was said and done last night in Sen's dorm room. Since mine and Hitoshi's most recent conversation about Sen, I have been feeling worse. Wishing that I could like him more or at least have the decency to cut him off. As much as I hated the thought of a relationship the thought of being alone forever with no one sounded even worse, as selfish as it sounded. I was using Sen to feel something, something that I knew would never grow and we would never be more than this.

"Am I a terrible person?" I asked, out of the blue. Shocking even Hitoshi as his eyes went wide.

"Of course not, why would you ask that?"

"I can feel it, I feel how much he likes me and wants me to stay but I just can't. I worry that I won't ever like anyone like that." I said sadly, dropping my head and removing the helmet, rubbing my cheek with the back of my hand.

"Hey! Boys and girls may come and go but you and me are forever. Don't ever forget that. I've seen your heart and I know how big it is and I know exactly who you are." He said, putting his long finger under my chin and lifting my head, a small smile on his handsome face.

"I don't know what will happen in the future. But regardless I'll always be on your side."

                                                              *

The next few days continued on like any other, morning classes then UA class followed by after school and extra curricular activities. The last bell of the day rang out, dismissing students and teachers who were eager to get back to the dorms to start enjoying their one day weekend. Sunday being the only day off for all students.

"So... What are you wearing? I'm thinking that red dress where your boobs look absolutely amazing." Mei said as she linked our arms as we left out respective workshops and matched step as we left the main UA building.

"Hmm maybe, I mean they are one of my best assets." I agreed, replying to Hitoshi's text message about what time we should head over.

"I'm excited. Iida has been freaking out all week trying to mentally prepare for tonight, I can already picture him running around offering people water or something lame like that." She giggled, her face lighting up as she talked about Iida.

Mei and Tenya weren't official but to all of us they might as well have been. They even spent last Christmas together, sharing their first kiss in the snow. I think Iida was hesitant after what happened to his brother, not wanting anything terrible to happen to the people he loved most because of his career path. A noble man through and through.

Ding.

Sen- Hey, are you coming to the party tonight?

I hadn't seen Sen since the last time we had sex and I left without an explanation, saying that I would text him. Which I had not done.

I had been thinking about everything recently, liking Sen enough to not want to hurt him but not liking him enough to want to be his girlfriend. We were both already in too deep, whatever I said now even if it was letting him down easy was going to be harsh. That's what happens when you are a selfish piece of shit who just wants to get dicked down. I sighed heavily and looked down, rubbing my temples. Over having to think about this whole situation, and just wanting to crawl into bed and never come out.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what is this? I don't like it." Mei said, waving her hand up and down, gesturing to my whole body.

"Why aren't you excited! We always get excited for parties." She stated, linking our arms once more and walking us down the halls.

"I'm excited. Who said I wasn't excited."

"Oh just your face, your body language and your whole aura."

She was probably right, the introvert in me wanted nothing more than to stay home and avoid any and all confrontation about the situation that I had caused. I didn't answer her as we continued to walk, making our way to the huge doors and pushing them open. Coming face to face with Sen, Shishida and Tetsu Tetsu. All of them turning and looking directly at us as we walked out.

"Hey guys! Wanna walk together?" Tetsu asked, his usual cheerful self on full display. His sunshine personality and aloofness clearly missing the weird tension between me and Sen.

"Um..." Sen started, blushing slightly and looking in my direction, his eyes looking sad as they took me in.

"We would love to! 3 future pro heroes as our personal chaperons? How did we get so lucky?" Mei answers, her voice getting higher as she looked between me and Sen, picking up whatever energy we were giving off.

We went the long way, the plan was to drop us off at our dorm then the 3 boys continue onto theirs. The conversation flowed naturally as we all talked about the party tonight and offers which we had gotten for work studies and internships.

"Hatsume I really loved the gear you made me! You guys are so cool, I wish I was half as smart as you. Mr Vlad might actually pass me then." Testu Testsu confessed, smiling and showing off his sharp teeth to us. The rest of the group continued to make small talk as we walked, me and Sen lagging behind the group, not walking together but close enough that I could hear his breathing. Fast and almost panicked, cleary working himself up.

"Y/N. Can I talk to you for a sec?" Sen asked quietly behind me so only I could hear. I stilled, scared that if I turned around, my heart and head would be even more confused. As if that was possible.

"You guys can go on without us." I said to the others, smiling at them as they waved us off.

"I'm s."

"I just."

We both said at the same time, both of us stepping forward towards each other. A blush making it's way up Sen's cheeks. He was incredibly cute. The type of cute that if you bought him home your parents would approve. The type of cute that was safe.

"You know that I like you, I don't try to hide it Y/N" He stated confidently, his darks eyes staring into mine.

"I love being with you, not just physically. I want to be someone you can rely on. Be there for you whenever you need. Why won't you give me a chance?" He said louder this time. My heart hammering in my chest. Not at his sudden confess but because I was scared of my answer, scared of being labeled the bad guy and rightfully so.

"Please, come with me to the party as my date and just give me a chance. There has to be something there or else we wouldn't have made it this far."

That's where he was wrong. People could sleep with people and not want to date them. People could promise each other the world and leave them the very next day. I knew that I could have sex with Sen a million times and even then, it would only be sex. He would only ever be cute, and if things ever went any further he would only break my heart or me his.

Despite this, as I looked at his eyes and his tall frame looming over me I answered with the complete contradiction.

"Yes, meet me outside my dorm at 7?"  

[siren-dragon]

Do Androids Bleed Silver? (Ch.1) -- The Cat Returns fanfic

Hey everyone, I wrote another story and this time it isn’t a one-shot but a chaptered one. Yay! This is my first time doing a sci-fi story, so if it seems a little strange or odd, I apologize but I wanted to get something out before I go on vacation. Anyway, hope you all enjoy it! Also tagging @catsafarithewriter because they have been a wonderful support and inspiration.

Ao3 story link

Summary: Cyberpunk/Android AU

=============================================

‘Next stop; Shibuya Station. I repeat, next stop Shibuya Station.’ The automated voice sounded over the train intercom, ‘please wait until the train comes to a complete stop and stand away from the opening doors before disembarking.’

Looking down at the half-crumbled note in her hand, Haru took hold of her frayed but well-loved duffle bag and stood from her seat. “I guess this is my stop,” she muttered aloud before the exiting the train and out of the station.

In the year of 2207, the use of androids and cybernetics had advance to a level where their use was a common practice and the backbone of modern society; even in her much smaller hometown. But after entering Shibuya Crossing- Haru felt her backwater home was definitely not on the same level as Tokyo. The famed metropolis was well regarded as the forefront of robotics and cybernetics throughout the entire world but the invention of CREATIONS was the achievement that truly put the city into a category all of its own. Though technically possessing a robotics classification, many who’ve had the chance to see a CREATION regarded them as so life-like, it was almost as if their creator had conjured life itself….

And it was part of the reason why Haru wanted to study robotics in Tokyo; as the only robots that her hometown possessed were generic models of the Alpha and Beta-Classes. She wanted to see the daily technological wonders always taking place in Tokyo. But in truth, the real reason Haru wanted to go was because she loved to help others and repair problems. It was why she decided to study robotics and cybernetics in the first place- with the exception of her apparent talent in the field.

At first, many had viewed the cheery but ultimately clumsy brunette to be a bit of a hazard; and it wasn’t exactly a secret to Haru herself either. She could remember constantly stumbling on her impromptu runs to high school after having slept in- or when she once tripped cleaning the trash disposal unit in the classroom and ended up spilling the contents everywhere. But the moment she sat behind the small desk in her bedroom among the clutter of spare parts and tools, her once graceless movements sharpened and Haru would smile as she’d begin to skillfully repair whatever tech the residents of her hometown brought her. So, with the encouragement of Hiromi and Tsuge, she applied for various internships everywhere in Tokyo in the attempt to join someone’s Workshop team.

And it seemed that only one person was willing to give her a chance…

Walking further into the depths of Shibuya Haru gazed in amazement at the 3D holographic displays and looming skyscrapers that was a far cry from her small hometown. The streets were littered with people possessing a variety of enhancements the young woman had only seen before in adverts that managed to be broadcasted back home. Quickly shaking off her awe and hurryingly pulling out her note of directions once more, Haru began the walk away from the train station and towering skyscrapers while weaving her way through the small alleyways, the brunette teenager came to a halt once more on a rather isolated street. Glancing down once more at the paper in her hand, Haru glanced up at the sight before her with a bit of surprise.

“This… is the Bureau?” Haru spoke, looking at the old, neon green sign that flickered slightly with a smaller neon sign saying the Workshop was open beside an open doorway that was partially blocked by a dark noren curtain. Next to what was meant to be the entryway into the shop was a pair of roll-up garage doors- one of which was already lifted up to reveal the illuminated Workshop within. Tools ranging from chisels and wrenches of all sizes to a designated soldering station, making her maple-colored eyes glow with delight.

“If you don’t have any business Chicky, keep walking. This isn’t a museum.” A gruff voice sounded, causing her to jump slightly.

Standing up from beside what, to Haru’s surprise, was an AeroCycle on a hydraulic lift was probably the largest man the young woman had ever seen. He was tall and rather stout with ivory crew-cut hair and a dark stubble about his mouth and chin while dark brown eyes gave her an unimpressed stare as he crossed his arms; with the left being a robotic prosthesis baring a shade reminiscent of a dark coffee. As the man took in her short height, petite frame, and slightly disheveled ponytail; Haru only hoped he didn’t immediately send her back home based on looks alone- after all, she knew her appearance didn’t exactly scream ‘mechanic’.

“Well? Do you have business here or not Chicky?” He asked again, a hint of impatience coloring his tone.

“Sorry sir, my name is Haru Yoshioka… I’m the intern assistant you made the offer to.”

It was here a skeptical eyebrow lifted as his hands soon went to his hips. Haru mentally scrambled for a way to defend her skills should this man end up turning her away, but he only asked one question. “Can you cook?”

“…Yes?” Haru answered, still a little confused.

“Show me; head up there and make something then bring it over. We’ll talk after.” And with that said, the man returned to his work on the AeroCycle without another word.

Haru could only stare with a slightly dumbfounded expression before letting loose a soft sigh and followed his brief and general directions. Up a set of steel stairs lay a large viewing window, which oversaw the garage, and another door that lead into the living quarters that was surprisingly clean; if a bit cluttered. To the left lay a small kitchenette while the right had a simple living room and a corridor that led further into the flat. Turning to the kitchen and figuring not to keep the man who’d likely become her boss waiting, Haru was quick to fix a lunch from a hamburger steak with a fried egg on top and rice (it was either that or one of the instant ramen containers nestled in the pantry) and returned to see the stout man now talking to a customer while gesturing to the AeroCycle. “Next time learn to drive properly bird-brain.”

“And I told you before, lard-ball, it crashed during a chase!” The customer, who was dressed in a police officers’ uniform, snapped in response all the while glaring at the mechanic.

The mechanic merely grinned savagely, as if he was used to the explosive behavior from the officer. “While you were chasing what? A nearby bird.”

“As if you’re one to talk, you over-sized marshmallow. I’m surprised you can even climb the stairs to your flat without them snapping from the strain.”

“You say that again, you big chicken!”

“Umm… excuse me,” Haru spoke up, causing both men to swerve their heads to her immediately. “Is everything alright? I’ve got the lunch ready.”

“Thanks, Chicky, I’ll just take that off your hands.” The larger of the two men spoke, retrieving the succulent smelling meal with a gleam in his eyes, “and congratulations- you pass my test; welcome to The Bureau. The name’s Muta and this idiot here is Bird-Brain, a regular.”

“The name is Officer Toto Tsubame, nice to meet you and please, ignore this fatso.” Toto replied instead, bowing in greeting with a kind smile. “Are you new to the district? You are a bit young to be on your own…”

While Muta was large and hefty, Toto was his complete opposite with a slim frame and long, layered black locks tied into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck; reminding the brunette of a bird’s feathers. His skin was a tad darker than the larger mechanic and his clothes the standard dark navy-blue police uniform with the exception of knee-high shock absorption boots and a black carbon-fiber and titanium woven shirt that rested under the uniform with the cuffs rolled to his elbows. But what truly caught Haru’s attention was the unique dark-grey coloration of his eyes that she had only seen a few times before in holo-books or advertisements. “Oh wow, you have an optical upgrade on your eyes, I’ve never seen that before. That’s really cool…”

Here Toto gave a good-natured laugh, “you’re definitely new to Tokyo if this is your first time seeing something like that, but well spotted. My eyes have been altered with increased monocular vision and can see with UV and Infrared, alongside night vision. Plus, the color is a rather nice aesthetic as well- but that’s enough about me; what brings you here to the city Miss…”

“Haru. Haru Yoshioka, and it’s nice to meet you too.” She smiled, giving a bow of greeting in return. “I am here for an intern job at the Bureau. But, I’m not sure what cooking really has to do with robotics and engineering.”

Muta bit into the hamburger steak and sighed happily as he devoured the plate of food while Toto groaned at the mechanic’s table manners; or lack thereof. “I didn’t want some assistant who couldn’t take care of themselves, I’m not a babysitter. Besides, if you weren’t skilled enough to be here, I wouldn’t have offered you the job in the first place.”

“O-Oh, thank you.” Haru beamed, more than relieved that though he seemed to be rather rough and intimidating, Muta wasn’t that bad- arguing with Toto aside. “I promise I’ll do my best, and thank you for your help Moo-ta.” Haru quickly gasped, raising her hands to her mouth in horror as if attempting to prevent the words from being heard, but it was too late.

“What?! Did you just say Moo? Like I’m some kind of fat cow!”

“No, no, you’re just fat! Oh- um…”

Toto, meanwhile, had lost all pretense of professionalism and started laughing with tears of amusement threatening to spill from his eyes. “Bahahaha! Oh, you’re going to fit in here quite well with nicknames like that Haru. I’m definitely going to be using that one.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up bird-brain.” Muta grumbled, glaring at the still chuckling policeman, “and you Chicky- you got anything to say for yourself or to me, your boss?”

Haru gave a nervous smile, “I’m sorry Muta, it really did slip out. Would you accept an Insta-Pudding with my apology?”

The ivory-haired man stared down at her with an irritated look before sighing, “make it an Angel Cake from Osono’s bakery down the street, and we’re even.”

“Coming right up!” The young woman chimed before quickly making her way toward the aforementioned bakery.

Toto and Muta both watched her leave with the former giving a thoughtful hum, “Yoshioka huh? I don’t suppose she wouldn’t happen to be related to Hayata Yoshioka, would she?”

“His daughter apparently, if you’re that curious. And she’s only a few good years younger than you and me, idiot.” Muta answered, releasing the AeroCycle from the hydraulic lift while wiping the oil and grease from his hands. “I didn’t know he had a kid, and thought the name was just a coincidence till I saw the resume file Haru and her friends sent me. She was apparently fixing Alpha-class mechs at 11 years old.”

Toto gave an impressed whistle, “well, she’s certainly her father’s daughter if that’s the case.”

"I thought that too, but it was the fact that she has no personal cyber-enhancements that really sealed the deal." Muta added, that information causing the slim police officer to splutter in shock. "So I thought ‘why not?’ and decided to give her a shot; and it wasn’t like I was going to turn down the help- so here we are. But the fact that she can cook is a definite bonus.”

“Do you ever not think from your stomach?”

“Shut up, bird-brain!”

Toto sighed, “well, just try to keep an eye on her, alright? Not everything is exactly safe here, so if you ever need anything give me a call.”

“Thanks… you big chicken,” Muta answered before giving a devious grin and holding out his hand. “Now for the repairs, that’ll be 3,500 credits.”

“What?! That’s daylight robbery!”

“Is that so? And here I was giving you the ‘Friends and Family’ discount. But if you would rather pay full-price, who am I to deny you that.”

By the time Haru returned to the Workshop, she could hear Toto and Muta starting to argue once more and was glad she decided to buy two cakes in order to pacify both parties. Though slightly nervous about her new job, Haru couldn't help the feeling of joy at the upcoming work ahead of her.

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 26

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: Flangst

WC: 2858

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

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Dean left her all flustered and oh god, he accepted and didn't object when she introduced him as her boyfriend. 

Her fucking boyfriend! 

Her friend, who is a boy and who she’s fucking!

The first one after Cole. The second one ever.

Charlie winked when she walked into the room light headed and Y/N could not hide her stupid grin even if she would have tried.

Y/N sighs and rolls her eyes at her friend before she makes her way over to her. 

Charlie’s actually a very good friend, if not one of her best friends. They met in college where they both pursued the same dream. Charlie moved away though, leaving her alone in the city and just yesterday morning  she got a text from Charlie while she was on the train saying that Charlie was attending the workshop too. 

Immediately, Charlie is all over her when Y/N sits down but at least Charlie was considerate enough and went to grab coffee for the both of them from the back of the room, where the organizers have a little breakfast table set up. 

“So,” Charlie’s still grinning stupidly, “Your boyfriend, huh?”

“God, can we not talk about that, Charlie?” 

“What do you mean?” The woman sounds offended, “When do you wanna talk about it? When we’re on the fucking phone?”

Well, Charlie’s not wrong. They rarely see each other anymore apart from from the weekly phone calls and she hasn’t had the time nor the feeling that she should update Charlie about her relationship status yet. Dean was kind of a secret because she’s not sure where what ever they have would lead to and she’s not the one who jumps the gun.

Y/N takes a look around them. People are still mingling together and the host hasn’t started with the morning briefing of the workshop yet. In fact, the desk in the front isn’t set up at all. 

Turning back to Charlie, she’s met by the woman’s pout. She groans and sighs, “Well, he’s Dean.”

“Duh,”

“Winchester.” She adds.

Charlie’s eyes widen, “The same Dean Winchester you went to high school with?”

“Ya!” 

“What are the fucking chances?” Charlie laughs.

“I know!” She couldn’t help but laugh with her friend.

“The Winchester boy who I caught you during lecture writing a story about?” Charlie squints her eyes, but the smile’s still there. 

She cringes at the memory, because she doesn't like to think back to college. It brings back memories of Cole and she doesn’t like that thought, at all. And oh god, she was daydreaming a lot during their lectures, and yeah, Charlie’s not wrong. She once started to write a short story about a boy who was too cocky for his own good . She even gave the story that title, if she remembers rightly.

Y/N nods her head. There’s not a chance she can hide the flush of her face from Charlie. The woman always knows it. 

Charlie lets out a squeal and wraps her arms around Y/N, nearly sending her coffee spilling onto both of them. When Charlie parts, she looks at Y/N, and she can detect a hint of concern on her friend’s face, “Does he treat you right? Please tell me he does.”

“Don’t worry Charlie, I’m not rushing into anything, I’ve learned my lessons.” 

They both know what she’s talking about. Charlie was right the fuck there when it started with Cole. It was in their last year of college. Cole was working at the bar  they frequented and she really didn’t know what he saw in her, but she was so head over heels in whatever the feeling was , because it sure as hell wasn’t love. It was kind of a new feeling to be wanted by someone, so new that she ignored all the fucking red flags Cole waved in front of her. It was a whirlwind romance. She moved in with him as soon as she finished college and Cole had her cut all ties to Charlie. Behind his back, she managed to keep her contact with Charlie though. Charlie was so mad at her, but still she remained in her life because Charlie knew that without her, Y/N would have nobody. 

After Charlie spent years persuading her that Cole wasn’t good for her, she finally caved. It was a long process of understanding that what she had was not healthy. That the one person she trusted the most was misusing her trust. It was a long way to realize Cole’s toxic behaviour, but she was glad that she finally got it in her head. 

The last straw was actually, when Cole promised her to finally find a decent job but instead of going out and doing some job hunting, she found him in their fucking bed with another woman. Apparently it wasn’t the first either. She felt so fucking dirty afterwards and ran to Charlie. Her friend helped her leave him for good, but Cole began to hunt her down and pretended that he wanted her back, stalking her wherever she went. It was again Charlie who went to the police with her to file a restraining order. 

So, yeah, Y/N gets that Charlie is overprotective when it comes to her, and her friend is just afraid that Y/N will make the same mistake again.

“You deserve a good guy, you know?” Charlie says and it’s sincere. 

“I know. I think Dean’s alright in that department.” She grins when she thinks of him, how can she not, “He had a crush on me in high school.”

“He did not.”

“Did, too!”

“You had one on him, too, didn’t you?” Charlie asks.

“I mean, who didn’t? He was Dean Winchester. The bad boy everyone was gushing over.”

*

Her and Charlie continued to talk until the workshop started. They talked again at lunch. She told her friend everything. How Dean earns his money, how he took care of her when she was sick, how she’s so insecure that she gets jealous of other women and thinks that Dean only plays with her feelings. That is apparently normal, Charlie said, and she begged for Y/N to let her come see the club and she promised to ask Dean about it.

They went to dinner together in the evening and Charlie made the drive home because she had work the next morning and Charlie doesn’t live too far away from here, unlike her. She has to stay another night and take the train home in the morning. 

Y/N keys in her card, debates on taking the DO NOT DISTURB sign back in but decides to leave it on the door. Once inside she can still smell Dean’s cologne. She walks to the unmade bed and dives face first into it and buries her face into the covers and pillow where he was sleeping last night. The smell of his skin still lingers in the sheets and she breathes it in.

They texted today while she had lunch and some more during dinner, but that’s about it. It’s almost 10pm. Dean’s working right now, and even though she would love to hear his voice, she decides not to call. She’ll see him tomorrow. It’s not that far away when she thinks about it. Still… it’s so close, yet so far. 

She closes her eyes, breathing in his scent some more even though she knows that she should pack her things to be ready to leave before 6am but dragging herself away just seems impossible right now. She also knows that if she’d hurry, she can be back in bed sooner and buries her face back in here, but still, she’s just too fucking weak right now. 

There’s a vibration at the end of the bed, where she left her purse. Yanking her eyes open, she heaves herself up and crawls towards the source. She takes it out and scans the caller ID, smiling as she goes. 

Quickly, she swipes her thumb over the button, “Hey,” Her heart flutters.

“Hey,” Dean replies with a chuckle.

The background sound is muffled. She takes it he’s in his office. 

“How are you?” Dean asks, and Y/N hears the sound of him reclining into his chair, hears the creaking of the leather. 

“Good,” She answers, “‘M so tired.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out tonight.”

Yeah, he’s told her that already and she was okay with it. It would have been exhausting for him to drive here two nights in a row and she gets it, there’s really nothing that he has to be sorry for.

“Don’t be, that’s okay. I wasn’t expecting you to. And I didn’t even expect you to come here the first night either.”

“I would have,”

“I know.”

“So,” He chuckles, tries to lighten up the mood, “What are you wearing?”

It works, because Y/N’s smiling. She scrambles off the bed, and jams the phone between her cheek and shoulder to pull the zipper down at the back of her skirt, “I’m just getting out of my clothes now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” She tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth, as she lets the skirt slide down her thighs before her hands work on her shirt, “I’m in my underwear.”

“Take it off,” Dean mumbles.

She has to grin at that, “Why?”

“It’s just,” He starts and pauses to think before he adds, “I love it when you wear nothing but a smile on your face.”

“You do?” 

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong. I love it when you wear clothes, especially when you’re wearing my shirts, but I love it when you’re naked, too.” Dean breathes out, “Jesus, I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

She chuckles.

Just when she’s about to say more, she hears an opening of a door, hears music spilling in and then Dean takes the phone away from his face, hears a muffled ‘ Yeah, I’ll be right down ’.

“Yeah, uh,” He starts, when he’s back on the phone with her, “I’m needed down stairs and now I have a boner. Great. Well, I just wanted to call to say good night. I was hoping to catch you before you went to sleep and now I got more than I bargained for.”

She smiles, “No worries, Dean. I should probably go to sleep soon if I wanna catch the train on time.”

Dean sighs, “I miss you.”

Y/N smiles as she feels her heart clenching. She chuckles, “I miss you too.”

“Text me what time you arrive, okay? I’ll pick you up.”

She grins, “You know that you don’t have to, right?”

“I know, but I want to.”

“‘K,” She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, tries not to squeal because she’s happy.

“Good night, baby.” Dean says and she can hear him smile. 

“Night, Dean.”

*

The train ride was uneventful and as soon as the train arrived at the platform, her heart started to race. Y/N wonders if Dean’s going to be here like he promised. He’d texted her before he left and honestly, she actually felt bad because he’s probably so tired from working and it’s still too early in the morning for him. She wonders if he had slept at all and she doesn’t really want to be the cause if he hadn’t.

Even before the train comes to a halt, Y/N grabs her bag and walks past the other passengers, in order to be the first one to get out. 

She looks around before she descends the steps but there’s no Dean in sight. She continues to walk towards the exit and there’s someone she recognizes but it’s not Dean. 

Cas’ waves at her and walks towards her, but his face is blank. He looks concerned and already her heart starts to thumb faster.

“Hi Y/N,” Cas greets her with a shy hug and takes the bag from her hand. 

“Hi,” She replies, and she really wants to ask him where Dean is, but thinks it would be rude for it to be the first question, wouldn’t it? Fuck it, she decides, she needs to know, “Where’s Dean?”

“Yeah, about that,” Cas starts and starts to walk ahead, leaving her to catch up on him, he places a hand around her shoulder to keep her walking, “I’ll tell you in the car.”

“Cas,” She breathes out and tries to keep up with him without him having to drag her along too much. God, why do they all have to have such fucking long legs! “What’s wrong?”

Cas doesn’t say anything though, he just keeps walking until they arrive at his car and only after he stows away her bag and gets her inside he looks over to her, “Dean’s been in an accident.”

“What?” 

“Yeah, just moments ago. He wanted to pick you up and as soon as he drove into the intersection around the club, a car t-boned his Impala.” Cas tries to explain.

Her hands start to tremble, and she feels nauseous, “I— is he okay?” 

Oh god, please let him be okay.

“Yeah,” Cas breathes out, “Yeah, he is.”

“Oh thank god,” She doesn’t know why she’s crying, but the tears are running down freely.

“The impact wasn’t strong enough. As of now, I know that he has bruised his ribcage. They are checking if anything’s broken and they wouldn’t let him leave the hospital until the cops arrive to take down his statement.”

Oh. Thank fucking god.

“And he sent you.” She says calmly as she brushes at her cheeks. 

Cas smiles weaky, “Yeah, you were his only concern, he didn’t even care about his car. He wanted to make sure that you get home okay.”

Dean didn’t care about his car? That is really new to her. He was so proud since he got it as a hand me down from his dad. She remembers him driving to school with Sam every day and she was actually surprised that he still has it when he took her on their first date with it.

“And the other driver? Are they alright?”

“That’s the thing, we don’t who did it because they fled the scene. We think it has to do with the threats. Now they’re really trying to get Dean, apparently.”

“Shit,” She mutters under her breaths.

“Exactly,” Cas nods, “Anyway, Dean called me to pick you up, said you’d be worried if he didn’t show and he’s really adamant that you’ll get home alright.”

“Can I go see him?”

“That’s my first stop with the Cas-mobile,” Cas winks before he turns on the ignition. 

*

Castiel drove her to the hospital in silence and they had to wait until Dean came back from another x-ray until they were allowed to see him. 

When it was time, Cas said that he’ll wait, and she knows it’s because he wants to give them privacy. 

Y/N walks to Dean’s room on shaky legs, and it’s mainly because she doesn’t know what to expect.

Knocking once, she turns the door knob and peeks her head through. 

Dean’s sitting on the edge of his bed and he’s in a hospital gown but he’s smiling as he greets her, “Hey, I’m sorry I couldn’t mak—”

She’s on him before he could finish the sentence, kisses him hard and soft at the same time, and Dean’s hand goes around her waist, holds her steady and keeps her a safe distance away from his bruised ribs. 

“Don’t be sorry,” She whispers when she breaks the kiss to hold his head between her hands. She looks him in the eyes that are a little weary, but the crinkles are showing around them.

“Jesus, I missed you,” He whispers and pulls her in, grunting when it hurts him and she wants to pull away, wants to take a step back, but Dean wouldn’t let her. Instead he draws her closer to him, grunting and chuckling at the same time as he does. He kisses her again, all soft and tender.

“I was worried,” She says and she leaves her forehead on his. 

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Is anything broken?”

Dean shakes his head, “No, just little bruises here and there.”

“Good,” She says and she just can’t not kiss him again. 

Dean’s arms wrap tightly around her, his hands span over her back, fingers digging into her flesh. 

“I’ve got to wait for the police to arrive. Cas can drive you home and I’ll see you later.”

“No,”

“Baby, I—”

“No, I wanna wait, okay?”

“Okay,” Dean smiles, “Then you should go get something to eat with Cas? I’ll call you when I’m finished.”

She nods and leaves Dean with a bruising kiss, strokes her hand over his scruff and lets her fingertips trace along his face. Y/N hasn’t seen him for a night but it feels like it has been a lifetime and she’s so glad that nothing happened to him. How cruel would it have been, though. She’s only just met him. She doesn’t want anything to take him away from her just yet.

Chapter 27

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

[nomoregoldfish]

I Promised You The Moon rant

Just binged it and this was from the episode by episode reaction/discussion with my partner in crime @glossyboy.

First of all, Oab stole the show, singlehandedly, which he's not supposed to. I don't think anyone expected it including himself. In the very top post when I searched his name on tumblr, he said this lol

But the truth is he played one hell of "villain" that required a very nuanced performance and he delivered it in a believable and graceful manner. Jai became the catalyst of the entire season and his rather complicated relationship with Teh was the highlight of part 2.

EP 1

From the very beginning it's clear that part 2 is very much a Teh's story rather than a balanced story about two young people's journey as a couple in the next chapter of their lives. It makes me uncomfortable they made Oh-aew clingy and pessimistic without giving him any character development.

The best part is probably the opening scene where they went paper-rock-scissors to decide who's gonna buy condoms. It felt authentic, the expectation, the hesitation, the mischievous act, all fits their characters well. Other times ep 1 was more like two adult kids playing house, literally in an empty giant ass upper middle class apartment.

EP 2

It's great that they poked the femininity vs. masculinity issue through Oh-aew, but stopped right there at the surface. Missed a perfect opportunity to go head-to-head with the controversial topic, start a debate, crush the stigma of femininity, bring something new, be a real game changer of the BL genre, and most importantly give Oh-aew some concrete character development. Part 1 showed us a gay character that's very comfortable with his sexuality and femininity, that's almost revolutionary in Asia, not as a comic relief but a leading role. Oh-aew questioned his own sexual identity once in that bra wearing scene, it's straight out of comfort zone, BOLD, and transgressive. So I expected more from part 2.

That's it? And they're already sophomores? Can't believe Oh-aew's character has been marginalized like this. It's pathetic.

But I love the brutally honest conversation at the end where Teh vented his rage and despair regarding his frustration of acting. He was acting like a dick because he's disappointed, and scared. Teh again was not afraid of showing vulnerability, making the reconciliation very realistic and touching.

EP 3

Dare I say I freaking love ep 3! The unresolved (partially sexual, but not entirely) tension between Teh and Jai was over the roof! And the built-up to their kiss was very authentic, which paled Teh and Oh-aew's much sidelined storyline, including the long anticipated sex scene (still can't believe it happened right after Jai explicitly instructed Teh to do it after the two spent a whole night bonding, like wow! Totally TRANSGRESSIVE and to some extent, kinky.) Teh looked up to the senior, idolized him, wanted to be good for him and make him proud, thirsted for the validation from him, which was mixed with affections. The workshop diary was a brilliant idea to let them open up to each other and eventually bring them close. This was what a meaningful arc of a story looked like. By contrast, there isn't a single moment between Oh-aew and Teh in part 2 that made me go "Damn it's soooooo hot!"

I know Jai/Teh wasn't the endgame but I appreciate the storyline so much. It's a very bold move considering it broke the over-glorified "one true love in one's life" fantasy of its target audience, mostly young cis women. The popular narrative of "you can only love one person through your life/one true love" in romance fictions/chick flicks was totally smashed. And it wasn't written just to stir up things between Teh and Oh-aew, it wasn't a silly fling. Instead, it's meaningful, complicated, natural, and realistic, delivered by nuanced and excellent acting from two young actors. It's hilarious that fans hate Jai with a passion and call him names.

And big news, Jai is bi?! Bravo! He's radiating bi vibes since his first appearance.

I kind of gave up at this point, the season wouldn't do Oh-aew any justice. Like my partner in crime pointed out, the costume design literally threw some "incongruous female fashion pieces" on Oh-aew, made him dye his hair red, without...making any actual point of his personality or his character development. Wardrobe was supposed to make a point in storytelling. Yes, PP wearing pink is cute, and? There's nothing else for Oh-aew. Unfortunately he's reduced to this sulky, crying, and wronged partner in a failing relationship.

EP 4

Oab again was killing it. The tension between Jai and Teh...from the rehearsal in front of Oh-aew to the dressing room pep talk, was incredibly intense and hot AF.

Was it a manipulative relationship after all? Oab was so good at conveying a character with many faces. Jai's a mentor to Teh, also a good friend, their relationship was genuine. He's also ambitious with his own goals, he used, challenged, provoked Teh in a way that benefited them both. It made sense the title of part 2, I Promised You The Moon, was from Jai's script. He promised Teh what the junior wanted the most, a bright future in acting. Teh's unconventional and unspoken feelings for Jai was the best part of the entire season in terms of creative writing, it's complicated, fragile, delicate and completely heartbreaking.

The after talk in the hallway was so well-written. It's funny (Teh joking about playwrights always write about their EXs is gold), intimate yet meticulously controlled, no one lashed out or wept. Both knew what they signed up for and Jai particularly made it clear about his motive and the purpose of the "special workshop" beforehand (or right away.) Yet it's no one's fault that Teh got carried away. He's younger, he's immature, he's more into it, it's totally natural. It's so romantic when Teh's singing karaoke in the bar with Oh-aew, yet he couldn't help but desperately staring at Jai on the floor, knowing he and the man who just turned him down were never gonna happen, they were done, but he's still madly attracted to him and his talent. He fancied Jai, at least the idea of Jai, a playwright, a director, someone knew him better than himself. That hurt beautifully.

EP 5

Teh/Oh-aew endgame at this point was pretty meaningless. Oh-aew as a leading character never got any solid character development over a span of four years. What happened between Jai and Teh wasn't just "cheating", though they surely made it look that way, like Teh's empty promise of "I won't see him again after the show ends". No matter how Oh-aew and Teh eventually reconciled, there's no emotional connection, no sparkle anymore between the couple.

But I knew for a fact they had to. Otherwise it's too much of a risk financially for the series. The creators had to take the easy way out like most traditional romances—one of the most contrived and formulaic trope where the male leading character made a mistake (usually cheating) and realized he's wrong, he deeply hurt the female leading character (Oh-aew was merely a girl substitute in part 2), then he completely changed for hell knew what reasons, started doing every nicest thing in the world to try to "win" the female character back. It has been feeding the emotionally-deprived cis female readers/audience who are frustrated with heterosexual relationship irl for decades. The formula that made romance outsell other genres of fictions combined in the 60s and 70s still sells today, under the name of boys' love. It's pathetic to see Oh-aew confess to Bas that he always "lost" to Teh. Love shouldn't be some kind of game or competition, there isn't winner or loser in love. Love is spontaneous. Oh-aew didn't lose because Teh developed feelings for someone else, and he didn't win when Teh begged him for reconciliation. People change, people move on.

And as predicted, they went for it. The ending was so absurd and tedious.

Overall, Jai's probably the hardest villain to play, he needed to be REALLY GOOD to be "the bad guy", to make his role conceivable. Oab absolutely nailed it with his talent and experience. He's not even my type or extremely good looking yet I'm 100% SOLD. I immediately re-watched the scene of him kissing Teh back hungrily at the end of ep 3 like I used to re-watch Teh/Oh-aew's steamy make out session at the end of episode 3 part 1. Coincidence?

I like some parts of both seasons for the same reason, each challenged and tried to break some outdated/contrived narratives in the BL genre. Part 1 took on the sexuality taboo by showing two same sex characters sexually attracted to each other, no more "I'm not into boys, I just happened to fall for someone of the same gender" or "pure love" bullshit. By staying true to the characters' sexuality and actually showing it with explicit, intense (and beautifully shot) scenes, the gay characters were normalized. They weren't just pure and innocent, no one was. And it created two of most unconventional gay characters in Asian pop culture, Oh-aew, a beautiful boy who's very comfortable with his own sexuality and femininity, not passive at all, taking initiative to pursue what he wanted; and Teh, a sensitive, caring and vulnerable boy who cried a lot, he's confused but also sweet and brave.

Part 2 tackled the "You can only love one person through your life" trope with a very nuanced story of "cheating". Yet neither carried out what they started. Part 1 fell short of a revolutionary piece that stayed true to "adolescent sexual turmoil", dismissing bisexuality and becoming a typical unrealistic BL fantasy in the end. And Part 2, ugh, forced a "happy ending" that almost no one digs. I understand it's extremely difficult and risky to disrupt the established norms of a genre. But sometimes being transgressive and progressive could be the same thing. A story, an artwork, has to challenge something in order to create something new and compelling.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Any tips got people starting their creative writing degree in September? Xxx

oh this is a great question!! sometimes I forget I will literally be an upper year next year :) how did this happen :) still feel like I’m in grade 9 :) lol! but I do have tips!

1. Trust in the process

Okay, this sounds a little gimmicky, but what I mean is, let things happen the way they’re going to happen. I was extremely prepared when I entered first year, and even more prepared for second year, and I’m not saying this is a bad thing--in fact, I recommend having something small (even an idea) at the ready, just in case of emergency writer’s block, time constraints, etc, but I’d love to go back in time and tell myself to chill! I wanted so badly to experience the idea of the Ideal Writing Degree Experience, and so kind of missed out on the actual (great) experience I had in front of me! so let it happen! Take creative risks! stray from your plan if your gut is telling you to!

2. Get involved

In first year, I found it SO helpful to get involved in writer events, or clubs on my campus. I joined my department’s lit journal (which I shall be managing in the fall!) as an intern, and made sure to attend most, if not all the writing events they had on campus, including general fine arts mixers. Though I am a super introverted person, it was actually super fun to make connections, and even so, just make memories of faces that I could later recognize on campus. This is also super helpful for getting to know people in your program! On orientation day, I really tried to huddle with some other Writing undergrads, and that was super fun because we just chatted about our writing backgrounds, etc! If you’re anxious like me, coming up with literal talking points could be helpful the night before, kind of like an “About Me” refresh?? Like, oh my name is Rachel and I write literary fiction, also I am from Toronto, would be what I would say in case someone asked (usually people were very excited to hear I was from out of province lol so this worked as a great talking point!). ALSO!! off campus events! go to readings! Readings are 100% more accessible to attend where I go to school versus where I live at home, and so I def took advantage of this by making sure to go out to multiple literary events! It’s nice to make connections, chat with the readers, or even other audience members! Usually people asked me if I was a student and what program I was in, etc, and because being a Writing major is kind of a Fun Thing To Be at a reading, this was always a great talking point!

3. Remember your writing degree is still work

I know a lot of creative degree pals give this advice to remind undergrads that their creative work for school is still work so they should sit down and do it rather than leaving it to the last minute, but I kind of like to flip this idea on its head by saying: it’s okay to prioritize your “non-academic” work versus your “traditionally academic” work! For example, I took many, many English classes this year, and put about 20x more of my time into those classes than my literal writing classes. I am a writing major?? lol! I could’ve gotten an English degree closer to home?? I did not come here for this?? I think it was easy for me to write off putting time into my writing classes because I was “good at that” and “needed to focus on my academic work” (whatever academic even means), but if you’re there for writing, don’t be afraid to actually... do your writing?? Fighting internalized stigma about my own degree is something I still work on! It’s still work! Which means it’s hard, and you should take breaks (and extensions if necessary/if you can) just like with any other work.

4. If you want to, prep a little

Like I mentioned above, this could be a helpful thing to do, though I do caution over preparation because that was me!! and I feel like one may learn more if they have more room to fail (which sometimes preparation reduces?) but this is also dependent on the type of person and student you are, so disregard if necessary! When I entered first year, I didn’t prep actual work, but made sure I knew what was expected of me so I could mentally prepare myself, haha. I knew there were 5 assignments for 5 different genres (because of COVID they actually axed 1 genre which I am GRATEFUL for rip playwriting), so I kept this in mind throughout the term. If I got an idea for a poem but knew we wouldn’t be doing poetry for the next term, I’d write the poem in advance, or write down the idea. A little bit of prep can help alleviate stress especially if you’re transitioning out of high school, but I do tend to overdo it!

5. SUBMIT your work!!!

This is also totally okay NOT to do if you don’t want to publish your work, but if you are interested in curating a portfolio, it doesn’t hurt to start submitting your work early to literary magazines! I know some people are too nervous to send out their work in first year, but if you’re comfortable with it and want to, go for it! I submitted my work for the first time in first year, and got 2 stories published. If you want to be published, you don’t have to wait for upper years to put your work out there! If you have a piece you like, send it out! This also includes on-campus writing contests if your school runs these. I entered one not thinking anything of it and won first place (HOW), and these experiences were fantastic in shaping my experience in the program and also showing me submitting your work is not so scary!

6. Talk to your profs and TAs

Y’ALL I did not realize how much I talk to my profs and TAs and how much the pandemic took that away from me! It’s so critical to form relationships with the people who are teaching you, not only because they’ll help you to shape your work, but also because they’re a great start to networking! In first year, I sat down with my TAs or prof for literally every single piece I wrote, and the amount I learned is astronomical. I guess this depends on your program, but generally, writing programs are generative based rather than super lecture heavy, and you learn by doing hands-on work (workshops, etc). I learned so much (sometimes, even more) by talking to my teachers. They want to help you and it’s a great way to get to know them. I only attended office hours once in COVID (and it was Zoom office hours), and I certainly feel a difference in my experience. Reach out! When I took an intro journalism course, my prof line-edited every one of my pieces by hand, and while it was nerve-wracking because she is a fantastic writer and a tough critic (and literally right in front of me), it was so rewarding when she’d point out where I’d improved. She was also great at taking her time to explain how I could better my piece. You can’t do that if you’re sitting in a 200 person lecture, but you can if you take some time for a one on one! Highly recommend if you can (coming from someone with social anxiety)!

7. Make friends

I will admit it! I still have not done a great job at this lol. But if you can, try to reach out to your peers. You’re all there to learn, and it’s actually so fantastic to meet likeminded people! My peers are incredibly talented, smart individuals, and when we’re in person, I’d love to chat with them more! In first year, it can be scary to reach out, which is why I did this minimally, though I still made an attempt to jump out of my comfort zone whenever possible. It’s nice to recognize faces on campus and wave at people/have a short conversation before you head into class. Like I said, I interned for my on campus lit journal in first year, so I had to reach out a few times to my classmates to participate in events etc, so this was actually kind of easier for me since I had a lil ~motive that allowed me to muster the courage to chat with people! It could be as easy as joining in on a convo of a subject of interest (for example, a lot of people at my school especially in my program, love D&D. I have no idea what that is/how that works, but if I did, this might be something to talk about if you love it also)! Also - follow people on social media if you can find them, or start a group chat!

8. Don’t be afraid to speak up for your needs

This will be my last tip, and it might be the scariest tip of all, but if you are not happy with how something is going in your degree/classes, speak up about it! If something is not accessible to you, don’t be afraid to speak out about that. Idk if it’s just me, but I’ve been advocating for the betterment of my education since elementary school (why am I like this loooool), but especially in university, you’d be surprised by how receptive some people can be! Shoot your prof or TA an email if you have concerns, and see what they say. Rarely, they can be assholes, but most of the time, they’ll try to work with you to make your class experience better. This is why I also recommend filling out your course evals. Most great profs really want their students to enjoy their classes and succeed, so don’t be nervous to speak out about your needs if xyz isn’t being met.

hope that helps!

[waka-chan-out]

SERIOUS QUESTION!!!

How do you write banter so well? I’m trying to write something and it’s a first date thing. How tf do people talk? I’m always awkward and my characters are nothing like me so like… can’t just write what I’d say. But I don’t know how people talk!!! HOW DO YOU DO THIS?!?! Every bit of dialogue you write is always so…. Real. It has tension and reality and just.. WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!?! How did you get good?? I stg if you say practice I’ll cry because you can’t practice if you don’t even have a starting point. My cursor is currently teasing me with it’s flashing right next to an open quotation mark as words refuse fall on the page. PLEASE HELP!! I’m so stuck and I just want this scene to be cute hsjhfkahfewhfih

well first of all, thank you so much. that’s probably the best compliment i could ever get about my writing. i love writing banter so it’s lovely to know other people enjoy reading it.

i hate to say practice…….but it’s kind of that and kind of not.

i think it’s not just practice but it’s also experience? like i’ve been writing since i was really little but the most dramatic changes with my writing happened when i was consistently writing and reading other people’s in-progress work. i’ve been in a lot of workshops and it’s really easy to pick out who the beginner writers are because there are a few ruts they fall into that are easy to fix, they just need to be willing to listen. here are a few tips that i’ve taken to heart over the years and consistently tell other people.

1. let your dialogue stand on its own. that sounds overly simplistic, but it’s really the most important thing to learn. if i read someone’s work and i find they’re adding multiple punctuation marks, overusing italics, writing in all caps, or using shit like “exclaimed” or “cried out” over and over and over, i can immediately tell that they aren’t confident in their ability to write strong dialogue. your reader should be able to read the speaker’s tone and infer their feelings through what they’re saying, not how you present those words. i know a lot of people give writing advice and tell you to use fun dialogue tags to make your writing more lively, but in a legitimate creative writing class they’ll tell you that that’s the exception, not the rule. if you go back through my fics i guarantee at least 80% of my dialogue tags are just the word “said,” because i try my hardest to write the character’s tone into their words and try not to give myself much wiggle room outside of that.

2. just….read it out loud. i have read so many beginner writers stories and it just……it’s hard to read sometimes because you can tell they were trying to make the narrator the sassiest person on the planet or try way too hard to make them sound clever, and they end up landing in a weird limbo between what a sixth grader would want to say to tell someone off and something no human person would ever think of saying. whatever you write you just want to make sure it sounds relatively natural. i know that’s annoyingly vague advice, but it’s simpler than you think. like if some person in your story is giving the main character shit, you don’t want them to start screaming elaborate insults at them. no human person has ever behaved like that. you want to slow it down and think it through. start off with how you would act in a situation, and then build off of that. most of the time my reader is basically just…..me? like how i would act in a situation? or how someone similar to me would act? but i find the characters quite easy to write because i already have a baseline for how that character would act.

3. on top of that, i usually have benchmark dialogue or action moments set for a scene, so i know i have to somehow get to that. like in my kita “what, do you like him?” story, i already had that line set out for me, but as i was thinking about that scene i came up with other moments i wanted to happen. i wanted to use the line “i always thought you were handsome too” because i wanted kita to get flustered. i wanted some nervous fumbling with a key in a door to happen. and i wanted the reader to somehow end up on a table. so having those story beats laid out made me realize that i have to send the conversation in that direction, and it makes the scene not feel as much like a lawless wasteland.

also, that’s not true at all !! you can always improve and practice no matter what state you’re in. even if you don’t think the dialogue you write is good, it still exists when it didn’t before. that’s something to be proud of in itself. you can start off with a dialogue prompt or a random line you want to include somewhere, and just get going. one of the things i do sometimes is if i don’t know where to start a scene i’ll start it from the very beginning, and then i can shave off the bad, fluffy dialogue that i don’t need when i’m at a point i’m comfortable with.

all of this being said, the best thing you can do is have people read your writing and give you advice based on your starting point. i would genuinely love to take a look at your work and see if there’s anything i can help with or more more personalized tips i can offer. that’s what i want to do for a living and nothing makes me happier than talking about craft and writing and things like that, so i’m more than happy to help. even if you just want to chat over ideas, i’m here to listen and talk. i love this kind of thing.

i miss doing workshops so much. now i wish i could just sit down and do a big fanfiction one. alas, we must continue to communicate online.

[soemthingsparkly]

if you want an honest answer, I don't really mind that much, i know some people are having fun, which is good, but it is Too Much to me, and I do miss the usual content. I know people who like it will tell you they love it and you shouldn't stop, which is okay, but I feel like for usual people it might be kinda annoying that almost every post is about an OC. Personally i just stopped reading your asks until people calm down so I just scroll through everything bc It's not my cup of tea at all

Yeah, I mean that's why I've been trying to do the mama rose hcs again and some other canon-based bits.

But like, anon, do you know how nice it is to have people genuinely invested in something you've created?

I've dreamed of being an author since I was little. What I wanted more than anything was to create characters that excited people. They could love or hate them, it didn't matter, as long as it fostered passion, opinion, and discussion. I love that. I wanted that so bad.

Like... I have a degree in creative writing and the only reason I decided to pursue that degree is because I read Dalton by CP Coulter, who's fic was inundated with original characters, who had depth and substance and a following that dug deep into them as people. I grew up in awe of her. I wanted that. I wanted so badly to contribute.

So, I spent three years telling stories to my classmates about characters I invented and discussing them in depth in class workshops. But then those three years ended, I became distanced from my best friend (who at that time was my character confidante) and i was met with a void. I had nowhere to direct that passion.

I panicked, did a masters degree in design because, there's no way I'd actually be able to get anywhere with my writing, right? And my ADHD won't actually let me stick with one idea long enough to ever toe that line, anyway, so how the hell am I going to make money?

Guess what? In the year and a half i did of my masters, I sunk further into depression. There was no joy in this creativity. GD was just a tool for making money, turning a profit. Nobody cared about your passion if it wasn't profitable.

This fandom has been the first thing I've written for in over two years. I used to write every day, not to publish, but for my own enjoyment and expression. I'd build worlds with friends for pure escapism and enjoyment and nothing else.

And then it was radio silence on creativity for two whole years.

So, when i dipped my toe into the fandom and found people who were passionate and creative and like-minded about the content i was posting?

It was like I came back to life.

It was my Wake Up moment.

And then, then, those same people saw my original idea and said, "yes, this is fun and good, let's roll with it."

Do you understand how validating and flattering that is?

I'm sorry, you didn't ask for this - this big unload of my personal history. I asked how people felt and you gave me an answer. Thank you for your honesty.

I appreciate that. But it also made me appreciate myself and remember that my needs and enjoyment matter, too.

So thank you.

I will continue to write for the canon-characters - I love them with my heart and soul and i have so much more to say about them - but I'm probably also going to keep experimenting with Conrad, because building characters is kind of my thing. It brings me joy.

Have a wonderful day, anon. Take heart, this realisation is thanks to you. I hope you can continue to enjoy my stuff <3

If not, you are not obliged at all to follow me or track my content 💛🌟